Sunday, September 13, 2009

on a serious note.

so far, i haven't really had a serious post.
things have been pretty light-hearted and fun around here, but this here will be a leeeettle different.
i'm actually not even really sure where to begin...
this is all about family, though.

at 19, i'm the oldest of six kids. next, is my sister tori and she's 16.
from there, it goes:


brothers and sisters are built-in best friends, and i'm happy to say that that's exactly how i feel about these five people. they are the funniest, silliest, cutest, coolest people i know. and i'm so grateful to have them in my life.
in the movie "the darjeeling limited" one of the brothers, Jack, says, "I wonder if the three of us would've been friends in real life. not as brothers, but as people."
when i first heard that in the film, it made me think of my own brothers and sisters, and I was happy knowing that, yeah, I think we would be. 
especially chloe and me. she's my miniature and i swear we are twins, she was just born 15 years later.
we are best friends, despite the fact that she is four years old, and I'm almost twenty.

i've been thinking about family a lot lately. i suppose because i haven't been around them much recently. i spend the majority of my time at josh's, and i like it, but i do miss them. a lot. 
(sometimes, i don't think they realize how much they mean to me, and i really hope to change that.)
also, i read an article in the magazine, "Glamour", today. it was about these four brothers and sisters, torn apart as children by their parents deaths.
this broke my heart, completely, and i was bawling my eyes out. (not out of character for me, everyone knows i'm the ultimate crier. happy or sad.)
but, obviously this made me think of my own siblings and what would happen to them in this situation.
i came home and told my mother that if this ever did happen, God forbid, i wanted to assume responsibility for the three youngest. and i meant it.
i love them so.

now, to the point of this whole post, the thing that is weighing on me.

my sister tori, the 16 year old, is moving out in december, as soon as she turns 17.
she and her friend, kathy, have made plans and are getting a house together.
kathy is moving in asap, and then tori soonish.
this makes me so, so sad. 
and there's no talking her out of it.
i understand that people have to live their own lives, and makes mistakes. 
but, i just wish she wouldn't do this.
she's only a junior in high school, working a small 20 hours a week.
there's no talking to her, tho.
i'm actually making this post, because i just got done discussing the matter with her.
and i think that when i speak reality to her, it scares her, and she knows she's wrong and being quite dumb.
that's when she closes up, and gets angry, and won't let my parents or me speak with her on the matter.
i'm just feeling very sad for her, and i'm really not sure how to help.

i'm just a little sad.
and disappointed.
and i needed to vent.


  1. :( Aww I'm sorry, I've learned as much as you want to protect your siblings you just have to let them make the mistake. I'm incredible close with my brother & sister, I would do anything in the world for them! Sometimes I wonder what kinda mom I'll be, because I just want to protect them! Like protect my sister from rotten boys , you know!?

    Hopefully this will be a learning experience, and luckily you'll be right there when she needs you!

  2. it sucks, but becky is right. people never really learn anything until they make their own mistakes (i'm a prime example!!). it seems like if she does go through with it, she'll at least have you there when she needs you, and in the end that's what she'll remember most.

    but here's hoping your talk made a little bit of a difference!

  3. I know exaclty what you mean. It's crazy not to realize what you have until you lose it, but I know she will definitely wish she hadn't moved out so soon. I was 16 when I moved out of my parents house and I can tell you right now, I would TOTALLY go back and change things if I could.

    Family is the most important thing on the planet. I just wish more people realized it.